It was a Kitchen Christmas (and I couldn't be happier!!!)

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Many of us girls have (had) a rule that Christmas Gifts should not be anything that helps in food preparation or cooking - most certainly when they were from your husband!! That gift was supposed to be personal, intimate, small; containing something shiny and sparkly, and in my case, something certified at 1 carat EACH! that belonged in my ears!!!!!

SIDE NOTE: I am kind of digressing as this is the gift I'd always wanted but never received, and it was a battle between my Wonderful Man and I that continued over many years - still unresolved.   He has refused to purchase these for me on the basis of "principle".   He is fine with small earnings, just thinks the larger ones look too "showy".  My argument always was that "wife happy" trumps "principle"!!     In reality, these shiny, sparkling pieces of rock, that would rest on my ears ever so perfectly constantly displaying my husband's undying affection, mean nothing to me anymore!  (Smile!!!)

ANYWAY, I really, truly had the best Christmas.   My Family Heard Me....and they Responded!!!   You know I've been cooking (or at least trying to!).   What I haven't commented on is what I've been working with in the kitchen.   Many (most?) of my utensils and accessories are from when we were first married!!   And that's about 25 years ago!!   I remember at my shower getting several wooden spoons thinking "What do people use these for and why do I need 10?"    I am down to one in my house!!!  One!!!  That is not acceptable.   I was baking with a good friend this year and she had like 20!!!!   I was so jealous.   So over these past months, I've mentioned my lack of tools and I was rewarded with the following:

• Boy1 asked for ideas and I mentioned the spoons.  He couldn't find any.  Instead he gave me an entire "Kitchen Accessory Set" complete with new measuring cups and spoons.   As well, with no prompting, he purchased two new Oven Mitts - in my colors!!!   His comment was "I saw those and thought, you know I think we still are using the mitts I played with as a toddler, maybe she'd like these".    I LOVE THEM!!!!
• Boy2 asked for no ideas and ......   I got Wooden Spoons and a Bamboo salad utensil set.  And he didn't even talk to his brother or anything.   See, there is a God - in case someone out there was still questioning!
• Wonderful Man.  Oh, he listens and pays attention!!!  We have no decent knives.  When your kids ask "do we not own one sharp knife in this house?", there's a problem (besides the obvious question of what are your kids doing with knives?)    I received a wonderful set of knives!   They are pretty and shiny (he got that part right!!!) and work fabulously!!!  And, I got a shiny colander and a beautiful, large glass measuring cup!    These are all things that he heard me complain about.  And he listened.   Is that not great??   (He also got me a beautiful cross necklace that I had asked for - so he even got that personal, small-box gift right!!!)

So, my kitchen is organized.  (I actually spent the day after Christmas organizing all my recipes in a program on my computer.  Very cool!)  I have new "tools" and sharp instruments.    AND....I haven't cooked since Christmas.   :D

Action Required

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”

― Theodore Roosevelt

I like this quote.   Its kind of a mantra that recognizes not all people are in the same place; but  you need to work to your potential in whatever place you are.   I often think people let their current circumstances or past define them, and then simply do not try.   Much can be done with very little.   And you can't underestimate the "ripple effect"; the waves of action that may spur someone else on to do more, and so on, and so on.....

Our Christmas this year was simple by comparison standards.   Not as many gifts or near as much money spent as in past years.   YET, it was one of the best times we've had.   Our gifts were somewhat practical - and yet both boys walked away very thankful and happy!    Our whole Christmas season took on a simplified approach:  less decorating, less gifts, less hustle and bustle.   And it was just what we needed.     I walked away feeling very blessed and thankful for my husband and kids, and wonderful friends, and family!

Of course following Christmas is New Year's and those "resolutions" and goals!!!  That's a big one for me.   I'm halfway through my "year" to re-create my life; the first part was the realization that it needed re-creating and then just what I needed to work on.   I view this next six months as the work-period; a time of great action on my part.   I am feeling (mentally, physically) ready for that!!   Today anyway - :D !!  

Great Way to Start the Day!

Christmas was a wonderful and joyful time.  Quiet and small in comparison to previous times, but peaceful and good.   Definitely a kitchen Christmas which I will explain at a later time, but for now I want to share a piece of heaven that we discovered!   This is not for the faint-hearted or those counting calories!!!

We had a brunch on Christmas Eve that was so good, we think this is a tradition we are going to keep.   Boy2 made the best egg-scramble, complete with hasbrowns and maple sausage, onions and mushrooms.   Very tasty!  But the heavenly part came from the Baked French Toast.   Prepared the night before and baked that morning, this was just to die for!!!  

Baked French Toast

Prep Time: 15 Minutes Cook Time: 40 Minutes Ready In: 15 Hours Servings: 12

"A sweet and sumptuous baked French toast recipe which is prepared the night before and baked in the morning."

INGREDIENTS:

1 (1 pound) loaf French bread, cut diagonally in 1 inch slices 8 eggs 2 cups milk 1 1/2 cups half-and-half cream

2 teaspoons vanilla extract 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon 3/4 cup butter 1 1/3 cups brown sugar 3 tablespoons light corn syrup

DIRECTIONS:

1.	Butter a 9x13 inch baking dish. Arrange the slices of bread in the bottom. In a large bowl, beat together eggs, milk, cream, vanilla and cinnamon. Pour over bread slices, cover, and refrigerate overnight.
2.	The next morning, preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). In a small saucepan, combine butter, brown sugar and corn syrup; heat until bubbling. Pour over bread and egg mixture.
3.	Bake in preheated oven, uncovered, for 40 minutes.

Merry Christmas

Image by Vainsang via Flickr

Today is Christmas Eve Eve.   This is the day I used to dread.   It was filled with last minute shopping, cleaning, cooking, wrapping, and usually working.   This year its like a bonus!   A day where my calendar only shows a lunch with friends!   A day that my husband took off and we can spend together.  

As I sit here, there is sunshine coming through the door.   Tomorrow there may be snow; hopefully just enough to add to the scenery and not hamper any plans.   I plan to enjoy and reflect and be thankful for some time to spend with those I love.  

In one of my readings it talks about being Home for Christmas, and that home "is meant to be the place where a person receives a love and acceptance they don't have to earn," going on to remind that we must also be the giver of those gifts.   They don't cost money but must come from the heart.

Christmas Jars

Cover of Christmas Jars

A friend shared a book with me, "Christmas Jars" by Jason F Wright and I wanted to pass along the title/author to anyone who might be interested.   A quick but moving read, it helped me to focus back in on the meaning of Christmas.  

There is so much required "getting and giving" going on and I am constantly hearing people complain about having to go shopping, etc.    Christmas shopping is nothing I like to do either;  it has turned into a chore.   Is it my age (lol!) and soon my entire life will be viewed as a series of "chores"??   Or is it because the season is now stretched from Labor Day (just about!) until December 25th?    If you are a planner and start early, then what seems to happen is the wish list changes the closer we get to Christmas and people feel they "HAVE" to go get more.    We are definitely a MORE society.  I can't help but wonder the good that could be done if we all just toned it down a little.

The premise behind the Jars is that you save your "change" (coins mainly!)  for a period before Christmas (could even be all year!).   The money in the Jar then is given anonymously to someone in need.   And, its a someone you FIND - not just given to a charity.  So maybe someone does this just in December and hands the homeless guy on the interstate the money.   Or maybe you save all year and give to a family where illness or job loss has hit hard.   For the giver, its a means to share our excess with those less fortunate right in our own community.   For the recipient,  its an answer to a prayer.   Imagine the gift you would have knowing that YOU were the answer to some one's prayer??  

Finding the Trail

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Well, I have no answers to my questions.   I'm wondering if its my own impatience that's making me feel like I'm on some kind of race.  I had a reminder yesterday that its not my time line that matters.   The plan that's out there for me will happen, its just not for me to decide when.   As well, a friend reminded me that the frustration of not seeing our path brightly lit in NEON is not just something felt by me.   We all want it to be the "yellow brick road" so we are sure its the right path, but its not always (ever?) that clear.  I was very thankful for these reminders and offered prayers.

As well, in my readings yesterday it was discussed how nice it would be to have an angel to lead us.  There was caution, however, because even when we know the right thing to do, we still don't always do it.   I'd like to think that if I knew where / what and it was clear to me, that I would do it.  BUT . . .   you really don't know.   Today's readings (two different books one with an advent focus, the other a simple daily devotional) I was reminded that all journeys have ups and downs and that almost everyone loses the "star" along the way AND that when God leads you to do something, it will not be draining or a chore, but it will energize and fulfill you.   What timing on those messages!!   Is there really any such thing as coincidence?

I think most of all, these thoughts calm me and allow me to just kind of open myself more, trust and not worry so much.  That's the concept anyway, in practice its much harder!

Only Questions

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I hate this.  I hate these moments (hours, days!) of disillusionment.  (Is that a word??)    What I mean is I seem to have lost my inspiration, my drive to find a new path - a new way.     Is it the weather, the holidays?  What is it that has me questioning my way?   Why can I not be as committed and positive as I was?

Is it reality setting in?    What I wanted isn't really attainable?    WHAT IS IT?????

Image by Zedzap via Flickr

The picture here inspired me to thinking about the season of Christmas.   I have been reading each morning some verses that help me to remember what the season is all about.   As I talk to others I know there is a struggle between the commercial and religious aspects of Christmas.  

I was a person very caught up in the decorating at Christmas.   Its a family joke that the lights on our tree would require a separate circuit!  I've found that each year I decorate less and less.     I wanted to share a couple of ideas that are simple, no-stress and inexpensive decorating ideas.

• Wrapping paper.   Call it whatever you want, but my wrapping paper used to have to match.   Two of my prettiest ever trees were when I used newspaper with red bows (only black & white - no color) or simple brown wrapping paper. with red bows.  One is complete recycling so not only inexpensive but good for environment!   
• Use any large glass vase and put small strand of white lights in bottom.   Fill with colored Christmas ornaments.   Makes a beautiful mantle or center piece and night when lit, fills the room with warm color.  An alternate is simply using the ornaments and no lights - silver and/or red look beautiful!
• Bake together with friends.  Gives a variety, turns what can be a chore into something fun, and you can share spices which cuts down on expense.

I always want to share Christmas cards received as I love the variety that you get, but am never sure how.  This year I want to try "hanging" them with tiny clothes pins on either a small wooden dowel or thin string.  I want to do this across the fireplace mantle but need to get the supplies to do it!

Project Organization Almost Complete!

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I have two words for everyone when it comes to kitchen organization:   Pull-outs!!!  (Okay - that might be one word since its hyphenated but I'm never sure!!!)   ANYWAY, one or two doesn't matter - the point is that these are wonderful!!!

When we built our home, we had the foresight to have the builder put pull-outs in our cabinet pantry.  This was a result of having a pantry previously where we could only use the front half because you could not see what was in back.   Unfortunately, that's the only cabinet we added these in.  BIG MISTAKE!   We've spent the past five years having Tupperware tumble from one cabinet and having to pull out all pots and pans from another every time we wanted to cook.   But problem solved this weekend.

Wonderful Man installed two pull-outs that have increased my storage by 50% in each cabinet.  Its so fun!!!  (Either that or my life has just reached a pitiful level where it no longer takes much to create excitement!!) SERIOUSLY these are wonderful!!  And, we did get the inexpensive "white wire" versions (Lowe's) - and not the stainless versions I was coveting.   But I don't care.  These are fabulous and by just adding these two, I re-did three other cabinets and now have one cabinet almost empty!!   Its made me see even more possibilities in my kitchen and I think I will add one or two more of these gems!  And, they were simple to install.   (I think they were; I didn't do it of course.  But there were no tools thrown or bad words spoken!)

After that, I will have only one closet to re-do and I will have re-organized my entire home in 6 months.    This last closet, however, could be a battle of wills!   This room was our office, but moving into laptop world we turned the room into a cozy sitting room.   I want to turn the closet into a kind of "desk"; an area where we can pull open the doors and be able to pull up a chair to write out bills, surf the web etc.   Another advantage to this is to keep the laptop out of the kitchen and far, far away from liquids!     My husband's objection is that in order to do this, I need a certain amount of built in shelving removed and he just isn't going for it.   I have this really cute design in mind where I paint the walls an accent color to the sitting room walls, too!   But again, he just isn't going for it.    I'm wondering if I like present a couple different ideas all planned out with costs, etc. he might feel differently.

 He really seems to be digging in his heels on this one.   He has a sound argument as well:  what happens when we move?  (Because we will move - we always do!!!)   The next buyer will want a closet. Understood and so I've proposed a design where we can keep some shelves and revert back to hanging spaces, too.  But still, solid reluctance.  Perhaps in my new-found sense of adventure and seeking, I should just start on this one all by myself, tackling the demo part while he is at work.  After all, once its started, we kind of have to finish right?   (Smile, Smile!!!)

Filling Up Time

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There was no retail therapy yesterday!    I was, however, pleasantly surprised by my husband with a movie date last night.   We had a great time and it was nice to do something like that during the week.   (Perhaps my reward for no retail therapy???)

I spent the afternoon kind of working through the holiday schedule.  I have three projects I want to work on in the next few weeks.   One is more long-term and it involves completing the family and kid scrapbooks.   (Side Note:  Not sure if I've mentioned this but the furthest I've gotten on this is just after Boy2 was born (he is now 16).   And I only did that because he kept looking in the books and wondering where he was!  He is going to be sadly disappointed when he discovers our use of the camera decreased dramatically during his childhood!!!)   So I have things to accomplish, its whether I can get organized to do it.

Remember my organization that started this summer:  I only have a couple of kitchen cabinets and the office closet to complete and I will have gotten through the entire house!    I have discovered what I need in my kitchen are pull-outs for my pots and pans; I will need help from the Wonderful Man to get this done but I know once its done I will have doubled the usefulness of three cabinets!   I am coveting this beautiful stainless steel design but am thinking I will settle for coated plastic.   I am also coveting these beautiful stainless steel pots and pans but think that perhaps one should cook first before they move into designer cookware!!!  Oh, well, a girl can dream!

Have a great weekend!

   

Zing for the Blah's

So I changed the look of my blog again!   I wanted something with some "pop"!   And I think this has it.   I've been in a bit a of a funk lately so maybe a little more color, a little "zing" is what's called for here.  Orange isn't usually my color; kind of clashes with my hair.   But for some reason as I was re-redesigning, it just felt right.


I'm needing an infusion of fun and "zing" into my life right now.  Not sure if its the holiday season or colder weather or what - but I've been feeling kind of "blah", so this morning adding some color to my post was my first step.    I also want some warmth and sunshine but looking outside, there will be none of that today!   :-(


So here's my plan:   I have about five things on my to-do list that I should be able to handle in two hours.   So by 10 a.m. the rest of my day should be FREE!!!  I am going to spend my day looking for "zing" to add into my days and just get me out of this funk!   I considered some good, old-fashioned retail therapy and I could hear those plastic cards just quivering in anticipation at the thought of finally being used again.   I was thinking how nice it would be too have some new black shoes (or red, or brown, or whatever!!!) and maybe some jeans and a pretty top and some new makeup and !!!!    Then I stopped myself.   This isn't in line with the Ms. Frugal I was claiming to be on Monday!!!!  Oh well, just a fantasy!   Maybe just a new skirt, something to go with those new boots?????


We'll have to see how this day ends.

Making Time Count

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I spent the weekend with extended family who had come into town for various reasons, but also to see Boy1's show.   He was performing in the 2nd round of a "battle of the bands" contest and they won!   I've said before how he just lights up on stage when he performs.  He's a bass player and performs backup vocals; he is so full of energy and passion.   Seeing it, you can't help but know this is what he loves.   And I was so grateful to be able to share that with family (and friends!) this weekend.    The band is   recording a demo and I am hoping that sometime I will be able to figure out how to link it here.

Being with family reminded me of how precious time really is.   It is so hard to believe that for some of us, our kids now have kids or are married.   My mother always told me that the older I got, the quicker time would go.   Not sure the correlation?  Is it a scientific fact or physics thing or just perception?   Since science was never my strong suit I can't really answer the question, I just know that it happens.    When you are young it seems like forever from Thanksgiving to Christmas, now a childhood seems to pass in that same span.

And so I think to myself , "what do I want to do with the time I have left"?   My initial "gut" reaction is that I want it to count.   I want to spend it with those I love and not waste time with those I don't.   I want to contribute in some way that I know made a difference in someone's life.  (Its the "some way and someone" I don't know yet!)   And, I want to watch those I love move forward in doing what they love, not what someone thinks they should do.  For my remaining time, if my work can't be my passion, then it will be a means to an end only - not something that consumes my time and energy; the best of me will be given to those I love.

Halfway Point

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Well, I am just about at the 6-month mark from when I turned my world (and my family's) - upside down.   So its time for a review of just where I am with my life.    Are things simpler and full of more meaning?   Am I happier?  Do those around me see a person more content and fulfilled with life?

Simpler:   I think so.   I certainly have less stress.  But I want it even simpler.  In realty, with kids, I don't know how much more simple it can get, but I want to find out.  I read somewhere that living a simpler life involves losing this mindless pursuit of possessions, and that in living frugally its not that you are giving up things, its that you are making what you have "count".    I am feeling re-newed to push this further in the next few months to see what we can really do without.

More meaning:   Definitely.   I am personally filled with much more faith and consciousness to bring about change not only in my life but in those I love.    This path is just beginning for me - and I am not sure where it will end.   I do know, however, that I don't want to get off this path (something I've done before).     I am looking for my calling; a place to use whatever skill and talent I possess.

I am working at being present at all times in my surroundings; not so distracted that I don't participate.   I hope that those who care can see these changes, and view this as positive.    My biggest struggle has been my own "second thoughts" about my lack of a plan and what that has done to my family, and I wonder if they too have second thoughts.    I have had days where I just want to say "forget it" and go get a "regular job".   But I am holding on for the "year" I told myself it would take to recreate my life and regain control.

Good Times

I am excited today because lots of family is coming into town.   Last weekend was all about the holiday and Boy2's football team playing for the state championship in football.  This weekend is all about Boy1's band playing in a "Battle of the Bands Event" at a club.    So family who has never seen this boy play will have an opportunity this weekend!   For us, its a time where you can really see what makes him tick, what he is passionate about.  (The timing was perfect as our nephew will be in town anyway for a wrestling tournament - so we have a great opportunity to cheer him on too!!!)

This morning I was remembering to give thanks for all my blessings and was so grateful that my boys have interests that make them happy and motivated.   I can't imagine what it would be like it they didn't.   So I am approaching this weekend as a gift.   A time to enjoy those we don't see enough and a time to celebrate our children and their dreams!

Who do you trust?

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Don't you hate those days that are going along nicely and then something comes out of left field and pulls you down?    And while the tangible result of the action may not be that great, its the action itself that calls into question other peoples ethics and morals.

That happened yesterday, and the laughable (ironic?) thing is that the action was discussed with these clients just last week and the response was "oh no, we'd never do that!!!"   And, I believed them.   So who's wrong here?  Me for trusting or them for not holding to their word?

I wasn't wrong and I want to live my life trusting the good in others.  I also want to feel that I'm working with people who know the difference between right and wrong.  It may be foolish to trust, so I guess I may sometimes be a fool.    I am not going to hang onto my anger or bitterness because my faith shows me those reactions will get in the way of a faith-filled life.   I will continue to believe there's a plan for me and I will allow my heart to be open.

Does it make it easier in the moment?  It does if you remind yourself IMMEDIATELY not to give into that feeling of betrayal.   Did I do that yesterday?  No - not right away.   But this morning I am letting it go and believe a purpose will unfold.   

The other part of this is that perhaps we as a society too often put forth something that we never intend to uphold.  In other words, our "word" is nothing more than noise; its just a sound bite and the "politically correct" thing to say in the moment.    In some ways, this big picture is more troubling to me than the incident that impacted me directly.    We all need to give more thought to the phrase "think before you speak".

We Won!

It was an amazing weekend!   On Saturday our high school football team played for the State Championship.   And they won!     So many things seemed to be going our way.   The weather was incredible for the end of November.   Sunshine, clear blue sky and temperature of almost 60.   The game started a little rough, however.  This clearly was a strong team who wanted this win just as much as we did.    For the first time this season, the team trailed.    A last minute touchdown in the first half added points to our side, but we still trailed.   While the second half could not be called "easy",  we seemed to control it and at the end of it all, we had won.    They had kept their composure and drive, even when trailing, to achieve the end result.   It was wonderful to simply observe this journey, to see these young men complete their quest!    I have to think those smiling faces are going to stay that way for some time!

Participation Required

In my struggle with Faith and what it means in my life, I am starting to realize that maybe there are no coincidences.  Those in our path are put there with purpose.   Those in our path are human and even though I feel they are further along in their journey, they are still just human and should be held to no higher standard than that.   And, because they are human they possess the capacity to forgive and allow others their transgressions.   We all possess that capacity; its whether we use it or not.    I think I am able to forgive.    What I failed to see, perhaps, was my purpose and responsibility as a friend.  To question and discuss my feelings, to point out a potential misstep.  Instead, I withdraw; thinking, analyzing, but not doing.    In other words, I must participate in the process.

Have a blessed Thanksgiving!

Side Note:  We have mixed blessings this week.   Boy2 is part of an undefeated high school football team that will continue their quest this weekend to win a state championship.  Truly a remarkable group of young men who have works very hard and are focused on the "end game" - LITERALLY!   Because of this, however, we are unable to travel this week to be with family.   We will miss them very much!
GO WILDCATS!!!!    WIN STATE!!!!!!

I Am Thankful For....

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So just like in school where we had to write what we were thankful for, here's my list (not complete I am sure!)

• The Wonderful Man I married and those Boys who remind me what it was (is?) to dream.
• Family and continued good health for same.
• Friends who put up with me and support me.
• Second chances.
• The opportunity to re-invent my life, to focus on more than just working.
• Past (Reconnecting), Present (Not Taken for Granted) and Future (Open to Whatever!)
• I'm thankful that I don't wait until Thanksgiving to remember and praise what I am thankful for.  I try to do this each and every day!
• Wildcat Football!    WIN STATE!!!!!

Hypocrisy vs. Faith

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Wonderful evening yesterday with my oldest son.  It was truly a blessing to share some time with him.  The conversation took many paths, and at one point veered to religion.  He gave a poignant description of what he sees as hypocrisy amongst many Christians that he knows.   This is a very bright young man and what he described could not be argued with.

I've mentioned here that I struggle with my faith:  it is very deep inside me and yet publicly I am a "fringe player".   I dance on the edges of committing outwardly to any church.    This past couple of months I spent in a women's bible study took me as close as I've ever come and brought a new and vivid understanding to me.  And yet, I still don't commit.   Last night as I was struggling with some recent events, my son's words came back to me, and I have to wonder if this isn't what is stopping me.

TO BE VERY CLEAR, I am a person filled with MANY faults and am in no way a model of Christian behavior.  So I am not trying to be self-righteous but am trying to understand what it means to my life to actually commit.  And a way to do that is to examine those who wear their faith so boldly.  I am fortunate to witness many, many people who are truly good, and that I know I will be lucky if I show 1/10 of their goodness in my life.   But its those closest to us who sometimes have the most influence.  And its not always a good thing.

 A friendship (acquaintance might be a better word now!) has left me questioning what it means to be a committed Christian.     Last year after removing myself from a study group because of behavior that seemed downright hypocritical to the very purpose of the group, a dear friend who was not involved in the group reminded me that I had no right to judge anyone or expect a behavior; we are all human, and thus by definition imperfect and our role should be one of forgiveness.   Very true, and so I realized that I should not tie up my faith around a friendship.  They should be separate and perhaps a strong argument as to why anyone exploring their faith should not do so with friends!    But move forward a year and I am again struggling with this same thing.  

So what to do with what I view as hypocrisy?   First is to determine if it really is that.  By definition

Hypocrisy is the state of pretending to have beliefs, opinions, virtues, feelings, qualities, or standards that one does not actually have. Hypocrisy involves the deception of others and is thus a kind of lie.   

So is the behavior hypocritical or simply a human failing, which we all have!   I think it comes down to whether there is a conscious effort to deceive and is it a situation of someone setting standards for others and publicly criticizing their downfall, yet their own behavior is somehow exempt.   That's my struggle.

My next thought was:  Does this person's actions turn me away from my Faith?   NO, ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY NO.    My beliefs and underlying feelings are far too deep for that.   I pray every morning that in some way I will provide some good to someone else in an unplanned way.   

Then, Is this enough to turn me away from organized religion?    Not sure, possible but not probable.

And lastly, Is this enough to turn me away from a place I was considering as a church home?   Very Likely.   And this is the saddest part of all, because as far as I've come, I may not go any further.

Its Friday!

Image by ~jjjohn~ via Flickr

For all of us:


Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined.


Henry David Thoreau





(Side note: I was looking for this quote and stumbled across this one - which made me think of tonight's Big Game.  And a couple mouse "clicks" later, the second one (which for a mom is very true!))


Success demands singleness of purpose.

Vincent Lombardi

Football is not a contact sport - dancing is a contact sport - football is a collision sport.

Vince Lombardi

The Key to Change is to Let Go of Fear

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The above was posted on my niece's site and it struck me as relevant.  Very relevant.

Throughout these past months as I've been focusing on change in many aspects of my life, Fear played a much bigger role than I would have liked.   My age certainly plays into that, I think.    As the years go by, we certainly get comfortable in what we know and expect.   Its what we said wouldn't happen when we were younger!!! (LOL!!!!)   (But all those things we said wouldn't happen, happened.   I remember telling my mom how my kids were going to get to do whatever they wanted.   I know she's looked down many times and laughed at that one.)

Fear kept me in my job for longer than I should have been there.   Fear kept me from reaching out to a new church and participating in groups.    Fear sat on my shoulder as I started in real estate, nagging me that no regular income stream would result.

So today I examine where I am.   I am not in the job that sucked the life out of me!  I am participating in bible study.   And, while real estate will never provide a "regular income stream" I am very, very busy.  This past week we are now representing a local subdivision, are averaging a new listing a week, and  have buyers looking more frequently!  Two months in a row we've been top selling or listing agent in our office.     (And this is during a season where typically we sit back, plan and enjoy some down time!   Oh Well!!!)

My answer to Fear has been Faith.    My Faith in God as well as other's faith in me, people who along the way supported and encouraged me.    Its interesting in these situations who those people are.  They are not the ones you expect, believe me.    In fact, in some cases the people you expect to walk with you stand on the sidelines.    They have been acquaintances and some I had not even met.    That is not as important as recognizing the path you need to be on, and finding the strength you need to let go of fear.

Holidays: Happiness or Horror

Image via Wikipedia

Recently, I listened to a friend describe decorating for Christmas.   It struck me as I listened to her description that this wasn't something she enjoyed; rather, it seemed to be a chore.  While I don't decorate as much as I once did, I have always loved decorating my home for Christmas and consider it a demonstration of our family history; some items I've had since we were first married.   And really, for me, holiday decorating started with Halloween, transitioning into Thanksgiving (just have to lose the witches and jack-o-lanterns and bring out the Pilgrims!)   With Christmas, our tree has always been a focal piece for me.

For several years when the boys were young, we would go each year to a tree farm, spend time looking for the "perfect" tree (determined by me!), cutting it down and hauling it home.  Once there we would usually find that despite our careful attention, the trunk was crooked and the tree would lean!   (One year we actually used a "bunge" cord and attached the tree to the staircase!  Thank goodness for lots of garland and ribbon!)  Anyway, this was our tradition which I mistakenly believed was loved by all.   A few years ago they (all my boys!) confessed that this tradition was only loved by ME!   There were high-fives behind my back the day I agreed we could purchase an artificial tree.  From there, my focus moved to decorating the tree.  

Every year I have purchased each boy an ornament and marked the back with the year.   Sometimes it was representative of an activity they loved that year (example: Boy 2 and soccer when he was 7) and sometimes it was just something that caught my eye (skinny Santas).    While I decorate most of the house and some of the tree myself (or with Wonderful Man!), I have insisted that the boys help with adding their ornaments to the tree.  Its a time for all of us to remember Christmases past and the changes (good and bad!) we've had over the years.   I realized now that Boy 1 has moved out, he may ask for his ornaments.   I am just not sure I am ready for that!!!   Maybe he will let us have just one more year of sharing.   I have no right to ask that but I think I will anyway.   I'm just not ready to let go completely.    I'll turn them over after Christmas!!

Big Day

Today is a big day!!    Two closings (Ya!) and an important football game.   And we wake up to....not just Rain but Cold Rain!!  The closings are good.   Its a strange time in real estate.  There are so many people in desperate need to sell.   Situations that really require knowledgeable people on all sides of the deals.  Its my hope that somehow I can help in a small way turn a bad situation into something salvageable.   So these closings today help to affirm my commitment to real estate.

 So now for football.    Our varsity team is on the path to the State Championship Game.   We've advanced through the playoffs and are on our third game.    (Boy 2, a sophomore,  plays JV and a little varsity)   This is an exciting time for us.   Its inspiring to see the boys so focused and working together, taking it one game at a time.   Our community supports the school and the team so its just a really fun time for all!  Go Purple!!!

So on this cold and rainy Friday, I have lots to be thankful for.   And, I am.  

Love it, Loathe it

Image by qthomasbower via Flickr

This week I've been tracking my activities and assigning a rating of Love It or Loathe It to each one.    I haven't really encountered any surprises but here's a sample:

• Meeting with clients:  Love
• General meeting at office:  Loathe
• Strategy session for 2011 business plan:  Love
• Spending day in class:  Loathe
• Spending evening on couch with husband (Watching TV!):   LOVE!

There's actually a pattern when I look at these.  So far, I can see that I "Love" being involved in things that have direct benefit or immediate satisfaction.   The things I "Loathe" are those that aren't really relevant to me and/or I consider a waste of time, as well as activities that are not handled efficiently (mainly because I don't control them)!!   Further, as I analyze that statement I realize how selfish and self-centered it seems.    (An early post covers my whole theory of "The World According to Teresa" and how I need to work on my frustrations when people don't think or act like me!! )

I do think, however, I'm not really that self-centered; I am all about outstanding results completed in the least amount of time.   I will not sacrifice results for time.  However, when I know there's a more efficient way to same or better results but I can't control the inputs, my frustration level escalates.   Now, the whole point of this exercise is to review your likes and dislikes to come up with a plan to focus on strengths.    If the pattern continues, I think for me I need to determine first the necessity of the activities I loathe (ie, is my attendance necessary?) and if necessary, how can I minimize the time or manage my frustration.   Sounds simple, but I have a feeling its going to be harder than I think.

I'm Here, Are you here?

So I'm reading a book I purchased at the recent Women of Faith conference.   Suddenly, the words of my title pop out at me and my brain thinks, "That's a familiar thought".    These words appear in an essay on how to live life fully and not miss out on the little things happening around you.    These words strike such a chord with me because they are what Wonderful Man should say to me.  

Lately I am falling back into a terrible habit of mine......Not Being Present.    I will be there....but not there.   My mind is a million miles away from the physical location of my body.  Its something that drives my husband crazy, and I completely understand and take all blame.   I thought I was over it but its coming back into my life at an alarming rate.   The author also describes it as "mental boot-scootin' "  which describes the randomness of the brain activity.   I can be at a ballgame, thinking about a deal closing on Thursday, what phone calls need to be made on Monday, to dinner plans for the week, and back to ballgame, only to check out again wondering about the laundry?    Making sense what I'm talking about?

Am I busy with real estate right now?  Yes.    Are there just lots of other things also going on in my life.   Yes.  BUT...It Shouldn't Matter.   I need to be present.   I need to turn off and focus.    I need to remember where behavior like this got me in the first place.    I need to put up boundaries so work is work, friends are friends, but Family and Husband are FIRST and I must be present to win!!!!

I'm really kind of fighting this one so please pray that I will find some strength and strategy to deal with this now while I recognize it.    If not for me, then for Wonderful Man because no one should have to put up with this twice!!!

Still Learning

Had a great time on Friday at a Women of Faith conference!!   There were a couple of great speakers, wonderful music, and just a positive atmosphere all around.   I would've loved to stay for the entire event but it just wasn't going to work this time.

One of the speakers was Marcus Buckingham (an author who has helped developed a philosophy called Strengths Based Management) and his message was that we spend our growth time focusing on our weaknesses and ways to overcome them.  His latest book is  Find Your Strongest Life: What the Happiest and Most Successful Women Do Differently     He believes that while weaknesses can't be ignored, focusing on our strengths is really more productive and positive.    Of course, first you need to know what those strengths are.   He recommends a "test" and its kind of fun - just another version of a personality type test that I'm sure you've all taken.     Go to stronglifetest.com      I've done this and I wasn't really surprised by my "main" type, but my supporting role surprised me and I'm wondering if my age and place in life hasn't contributed some.

The second step (which I will be doing this week!) is to track what I "love" and what I "loathe".    The idea here is to promptly analyze your activities each day for a week, categorizing which column it falls into (and if you can capture it) WHY its in that column.    From there, the idea is to focus on the things you love, see how they fit into your strength type, and then "adjust" your life to use your strengths to their fullest advantage.   This last step is where I kind of get "fuzzy" at what I will actually be able to change.   But for now, I'm just going to see what I love and loathe.   I'd like to predict that grocery shopping will be a loathe, while attending bible study will be a love!    I'll let you know what kinds of patterns emerge and if I have any major "ah-ha" moments!!

One Cooler - Two Desks - Three Hours - Four People

Do you get the picture?    Last night we had the "pleasure" of assembling new office desks.   I find furniture today rather interesting.     I do not remember my parents assembling items; it was usually brought home or delivered assembled.  (And this was not expensive stuff!)    But these days, furniture is delivered in a flat box in about 100+ pieces (NOT counting the hardware!)  and you get to assemble.

Our first experience with this kind of furniture was with a guest bedroom set we purchased on-line (should have been first clue) but it said SOME assembly required.    Not ALL!!   (Actually the word "our" experience is an exaggeration too!    I did order it but quickly realized that Wonderful Man should manage this one on his own!)     Really, the only thing he didn't do was cut or paint.  We actually believe that this furniture cannot be moved; that taking it apart will destroy any integrity it might have.   We laugh that we will have to sell it with the house!

So imagine the mood after being so excited that our new real estate office was finally ready and to hear our new desks had been delivered, to see the flat boxes and realize it was going to be a longer evening that anticipated.  Inside there were 80+ "wood" pieces (and I use that term loosely!).   I don't even want to remember how many screws there were (and of course all were just "slightly" different).    It seriously took the four of us three hours to get the desks together.    They do look nice, but after seeing how they were made we've established a rule that there will be no leaning or sitting on these desks!!!  

And truthfully we are excited to have our team in a new home, a nice place to meet with clients and discuss their home dreams.   (FYI - supposed to have three CLOSINGS this month and a couple more listings on the way!   We are thankful for our success and for the great support that's been offered!)

Beauty Surrounds Us

Image by Vainsang via Flickr

This time of year I can sit outside and just soak in the colors.   I am in complete awe of how the green changes to the brilliant yellows and reds, falling and creating a blanket over the grass.   While the air is crisp and cold, the warmth of the sun holds that last hint of summer.    I believe its Gods way of getting our attention, saying "Stop and enjoy.  Appreciate the brilliance.  Cold and bareness will follow."    And yet, as our lives get so busy, its hard to take the time.    This time of year we get wrapped up in back-to-school, sports activities, and then before you know it we are planning holidays.   Its just too much sometimes.  That's how I'm feeling this week.  I want a day to just sit in the sun with a book and maybe a conversation with a friend.  

Boy1 is ready to move out.  He sent me a text saying he will sign the lease and get keys today.   I sent him a text that says :-) and :-( .    Because I am happy and sad.  Happy that he is happy and excited.  Sad because I know the emptiness is coming.  Its not like he was home that much, but he was still "here".    And just like Fall, I feel like I didn't take the time to appreciate and enjoy him.  (As much as you can a 20 year old who wants to be anywhere but home!)   So I will wish him well and hope that we see can arrange a set time to get together each week.   And hoping that my prayers for his life will continue to be heard.